“Some steps need to be taken alone. It’s the only way to really figure out where you need to go and who you need to be.”
Somehow many people have a big problem with being alone. They don’t want to spent the night alone, they don’t want to go shopping alone, they don’t want to eat alone, .. the list goes on but I think you already got the point. I realized this because I used to have the same problem, not anymore.
As I, step by step, learned how to be alone & to actually like it.. I came to find 7 reasons why this was a very important step in my life. And I hope by sharing those reasons with you it will help you to make a change, too, and experience how this will change your life and who you are completely, to the better.
In the end: you are the one person you spent most of your time with. 24 hours, 7 days a week, 12 months a year. A lifetime. You are always by your side, not your best friend, not your mom and most certainly not your boyfriend. If you are only happy when someone is around you, you will be spending the majority of your life sad. Just imagine you being completely happy and fulfilled on your own, yes, that’s a nice vision for your future.
It teaches you how to treat yourself good. We always want to be treated good by others: respectful, loving, kind, … but how do we treat ourselves? Some time ago I stumbled over a quote saying something like: “You wouldn’t want to be around someone who treats you like you treat yourself, who talks to you like you talk to yourself.” My Love, start treating yourself the way you want to be treated, and don’t wait for someone to do this. Do it yourself.
Attachment. If you are only really happy when you are around people, your happiness depends on other people. What if those people leave, what will happen to your happiness? It will leave too. Do you really want to give someone else the control over your emotions, over how much you love your life? No, you don’t really want to do this. Look at the one person who as the most control over your happiness, set them free and make yourself this person.
Find out the root of why you never wanted to be alone. Something I realized is that if I got goals, if I got a Vision of my future and if I am working on those things, daily, motivated – It is easy to be alone. It is needed to be alone. How could you work that committed on yourself and your future if there is another person around you 24/7? A big reason of why we don’t like being alone is because we don’t know what to do when we are alone.
Distraction. So many of our relationships are really just a tool to distract ourselves from something we don’t want to deal with but had to if we were alone. In other words: you are using a person because you don’t want to deal with yourself. Is this being nice to yourself? And is this a good foundation for a relationship? Just imagine how beautiful relationships were if they happened for just the sake of 2 people liking each other and helping each other grow instead of using each other and keeping each other down.
Get to know yourself. We always talk about how important it is to know yourself and accept yourself the way you are.. but how do you imagine getting to know yourself when you are never alone? And just for the record, watching TV, texting friends with your phone and scrolling trough Instagram is not being alone!
Peace, Fulfillment, Self Love. The only way to find those things is to be alone, to get to know who you are, finally deal with yourself, becoming detached from everyone else. Only then will you find real happiness. Only then will you be able to love yourself. And only then will you be able to build valuable relationships.
Make it your goal in the upcoming 12 months to learn how to be alone and actually like it.
See you soon, Sarah!
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