So many people on this planet experience anxiety – still not knowing where this comes from and why it is spreading so largely in our society.
There are many different reasons why people develop an anxiety disorder but the ways it shows itself are mostly the same. Some people are scared to do certain things and won’t be able to push themselves behind those fears, others get panic attacks in certain situations and so on. You yourself know the best what you are feeling and experiencing, describing it from my point of view would only show how I feel – not how you feel.
I guess everyone has his/hers own specific triggers which pull the anxiety to the surface. Maybe its traveling somewhere far, meeting new people, going to school, being laughed at or the fear of developing a deep relationship. There are so many different possibilities for each and everyone – I won’t be able to cover even a small amount in this one blogpost. So today I am not going to talk about the details of anxiety and the details of its triggers, I am going to focus on the big picture. Of those things the you do which work in favor of your anxiety.
The source of all anxiety, the source of all fear is overthinking & living in the past or future. The source of all anxiety is being disconnected from the present moment.
Anxiety can not survive if you are just experiencing the present moment, there is no reason to be scared right now. But there seem to be reasons to be scared when you think about your future, there seem to be reasons to be scared when you are thinking about bad, or even traumatic, past experiences. Especially the connection between past events and the future are a great source for anxiety. Looking at what happened to you in the past and then thinking about how this will happen similarly in the future – this is what causes anxiety. Hours of sitting in your room doing nothing but creating scenarios in your head of things that could go wrong – in the future – this is what causes anxiety.
The thing is – we grow up like this. Talking about the past, worrying about the future. Being scared, angry, traumatised. We get taught that those things are normal, that those things go with life. Learning this while growing up can be compared to being conditioned in a certain way. We are conditioned to thinking that nothing is safe, that we can trust nobody, that everything ends and most importantly – that endings are painful and horrible. And so we are scared. Scared for the future, scared to experiencing loss, scared to die, scared to trust.
I hope you understand what point I am trying to make. Our mind is conditioned to be scared and meanwhile we are taught that this is normal. That this is how life should be.
We have been taught a lie.
Life is meant to be beautiful and lived in the present moment, fearless. We are meant to spread love, to trust – to live together in harmony without being feared. To love ourselves and the people around us, to be compassionate and empathetic. To help and get helped. To experience this wonderful life every moment fully and connected to our source. We are meant to be free, free of hate, free of fear, free of anger and sadness.
Another source of anxiety is seeking your happiness outside instead of inside.
This too is something we are conditioned to do. We are told that a intimate relationship is making you happy, lots of many are making your life worth living, sun is needed to have a nice day, the newest TV show is “life”, when someone is not answering your texts you are hurt, you feel beautiful because of your “fleeky” make up and newest clothes, … I could go on with this list for hours but I am sure you get the point.
The problems with this kind of happiness seeking is that first: you will always seek for more in order to experience more happiness, you will never have enough, you will never be satisfied – you will be anxious to not get enough, to never be fully happy because of all the things you still need in order to reach this. The second, maybe even more problematic, thing is: all those things are temporary, all those things depend on what others do and on outer circumstances, all those things can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Maybe your partner decides to leave you, maybe someone laughs about your make up because its not good enough, maybe you loose your job and don’t have enough money to buy the newest car, maybe its just a cold and rainy day, maybe your friends are not in the mood to text you, maybe your TV show ends, ..
This means that you will never be fully happy because at the same time you are scared to loose this happiness. You are scared to loose your partner, you are scared to loose your job, you fear bad weather, you are sad when you watch the last episode. You are constantly thinking about how you can keep those things in your life in order to stay happy – instead of really living the moment and experiencing the value they bring into your life. You don’t see them for the beautiful things they are – you see them for a medium to gain happiness, for something that needs to be kept in order to stay happy.
The key to living a happy life is to love yourself, seek your happiness in yourself & live fully in the present moment.
thank you so much for reading this, I hope I brought some value into your life!
You may also like:
- Reinvent yourself
- Stop people pleasing
- Control your emotions
- The Power of Affirmations
- Start Meditating
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