over the past 1.5 years I have been working on a project that meant so much to me. I never planned it to go where it went now. initially it was just me writing down my thoughts, my feelings, my pain and joy. it was just me trying to heal my soul after a heartbreak I never thought I could overcome (but I did).

I started writing poetry. I never had done this before, but my intuition told me to do so – and I listened.

get shedding layers now

At one point – I stopped. I think diving into the pain so deep scared me, I just wanted to run away from it and act as if it never had been there. I convinced myself that I already healed and that I could bury this chapter of my life now. I were so wrong.

After several months it all came back almost as strong as it was in the beginning. I felt my pain so deep. I lay in bed for days, started falling back into old patterns just to avoid dealing with it. For months I felt bad and couldn’t even explain why – because I didn’t want to look into the eyes of reality. But eventually I did. It just came to a point where I knew I needed to change something about this whole situation.

I started creating new routines, eating healthier again, all this good stuff which I am talking about on this blog. One day I was looking through my laptop and came across an old word document. “Putting the pain into words” it said. I got goosebumps. I had almost forgot about this document, those words, this poetry.

get shedding layers now

I opened it and read through it, several times. I cried, laughed and felt like I finally knew what had been holding me down. For so long. I never finished this chapter of my life. I never allowed it to be fully felt. I never gave it a real chance to leave for good. I decided that reading through it would make it possible to let go.

But while reading I found myself creating new poems, creativity started to stir up in my body – begging me to let it out. I hadn’t had this feeling for months. All the stored energy from nearly 6 months was flowing through my body in the form of creativity – and it wanted to be used. So I used it. In around 3 days I wrote around 100 new poems. Than I created a real pdf which started to look like a book. I researched. I created. I was completely absorbed by this project. And finally I felt the pain leaving, I found myself letting go of what happened, I started being grateful for those experiences.

get shedding layers now

The book was basically ready to be published, all I had to do was upload it. But I just closed my laptop and didn’t look at it for several days. Acted as if this wasn’t real. I was scared, of finishing this project. And now I realized – I had been finding comfort in this pain for so long, I created a home in my misery. Letting go of it was scary, where would I live? What would life look like without loosing myself everyday in remembering what happened almost 2 years ago? Fear paralyzed me. But not for long.

Yesterday, 16th of August 2018,  I got up and went through my morning routine. But at some point I felt this strong feeling of publishing the book – today. I tried to overlook it but I had set an intention that I would listen more to my intuition. So I sat down, finished the last little things, created, uploaded, published. I worked for 6 hours straight and basically forgot everything around me. Flow.

get shedding layers now

Today it is ready for you to purchase it. This book healed so much of me and I hope it can help you heal, too.