“sometimes the worst place you can be in.. is in your own head, in your own drama. sometimes you need to stop listening to your minds bullshxt and instead listen to your feelings.” written by me
I’ve been wanting to write about this for a long time but I had to work through it myself first before I could share. I am still in the process, of course, but I now do know what helps best – at least for me – and I hope to help you with my experience.
Everyone of us experience bad times, some more often, more intense.. others less. However, nobody really likes, the feeling. I think of it as a filter in front of your eyes, you start to see everything a bit darker, a bit negative then you normally would. Which is sad, life is beautiful and we should experience this every single moment.
So when I started to feel like this again some weeks ago I decided that this time I will try to change things a bit up. I promised myself that I won’t lose myself in those feelings, not this time. I won’t just stay in bad all day feeling sorry for myself. Because the only thing this will get me is more negativity, which nobody needs. I’m not saying that I never just chilled down. I did, a lot. But this was not the center of how I acted.
In this process I found out many things that help and many things that don’t help. I am sharing this with you now because I am pretty sure that we are all in need of a little advice when it comes to feeling bad, negative, frustrated and angry – with or without any apparent reason.
20 Tips to get through bad times without losing yourself
1. Stick to your routines
.. and if you don’t have any routines – create them. This will help you to stay on track, this will help you to take care of yourself, this will help you to tune in. Routines are such an important part of our days and if you stop sticking to them you are already some steps closer to losing yourself, trust me. Just. stick. to. them. (Morning Routines & why they are so important.)
.. this will help you to go deeper, to calm down, to reconnect with yourself. It will help you to find out what is really going on and to distance yourself from all the crap your mind is telling you to think and do (aka. this is xyz fault, I hate my life, I wanna stay in bed all day.). Meditate daily, I do 20 minutes. If you have trouble falling asleep – meditate 10 minutes before going to bed. It helps. (Why you should start meditation)
3. Move your body
.. practice yoga, go for a run, do a workout, at least go for a walk through the forest. I’m telling you this as someone who struggles deeply with moving my body. But it is so worth it, besides the fact that it is damn healthy for your body it will help you clear your mind and get out all those negative energies that are clogging your soul. Move daily, mix up what you do, be intuitive about it and don’t think about it too much.
.. this is a huge one. Sitting down daily and just writing down what comes to your mind. Page by page. Try to go for at least 2-3 pages. Don’t think about how to say it, about punctuation or grammar. Just declutter what is going through your mind, put it on a paper so it is out there. First of all it will make you feel lighter and clearer, second it will help you understand yourself. Seriously, it’s like Self-Therapy. Do it.
.. we tend to get angry at ourselves, hate on ourselves when every things are not going as we want them too. This stuff is so deeply grown into our subconscious mind that you need to work it out from the core of your being, clean that shxt up. Affirmations are a great way to do this, journaling as well (helps you find out your minds patterns). Tell yourself you love yourself, you are beautiful, you are capable of reaching your goals, you are bigger than those obstacles.
6. Clean & change your surrounding
.. clean your room, put on new bedsheets, do the washing, light up some candles, maybe get a new shelf or redecorate your room. Eliminate all unorganized stuff. Right now your head is a mess, your mind is a mess. That is enough. You don’t need your environment to be a mess, too.
7. Stay away from social media
.. this is important. There are positive parts about social media (getting inspired, connecting to wonderful people) and negative parts (hate, comparing yourself and therefor feeling even worse about yourself). Try to delete Instagram and everything else for a week, just from your phone. Then go back into it if you feel ready, but do it slowly. Look at the people you follow and unfollow those who don’t bring positivity in your life. Try to only do 2 social media sessions per day.
8. Be alone
.. yes. Meeting people all the time, being on the go all the time – this is you distracting yourself from actually feeling how you feel. This is you distracting yourself instead of working through it. This is yourself making it way worse than it needs to be. Stay home, deal with yourself. For days. Even if it hurts, even if you are afraid of what will come up. You are capable of doing this.
.. during bad times we all tend to eat crap. Drink alcohol or stuff filled with sugar. Order Pizza (I’m guilty), eat sweets, all this stuff. You know exactly what I am talking about. But isn’t it enough that we are feeling bad psychological, why do we then put stuff in ourselves that makes us feel bad physically too. Senseless. Plus we well get angry about ourselves. Plus we won’t have enough energy to work through our negative emotions. Senseless. Stop it. Eat your greens, make smoothies, drink lots and lots of water. Help your body and mind to detox.
10. Talk about it
.. don’t hide how you feel in front of friends, loved ones and family. It is okey to feel that way, those people love you and they surely want to know what is going on. Maybe they can give you great advice. If not they can give you strength and love. Take it, they love to give it to you, they love to help you to go through this. But keep in mind that this is not their path to go, it’s not their job to get you out there. Don’t go into your relationships with having this expectation.
11. Pamper yourself
.. I’m sure you’ve been waiting for this one. Make yourself a nice day. Sleep in, do your morning routine, make yourself a delicious healthy breakfast, go for a walk or practice yoga. Drink lots of tea or hot chocolate, make yourself a hot soup to warm your soul, take a bath, listen to calming music, face mask, hair mask, whatever you want. Make yourself feel good about yourself. Show yourself some love, you deserve it. (7 Steps to Self-Love)
12. Love yourself & be compassionate about yourself
.. don’t hate on yourself, don’t feel guilty, don’t be angry about the way you feel. Instead treat yourself as a little baby. Really help yourself to get through this. You are going through a bad time. That’s okey. Imagine your loved one would feel like this. Would you hate on him/her? Get angry? Be embarrassed? Stressed out? No. You would be compassionate, loving, caring, understanding. Treat yourself like this.
13. Go into nature
.. there is something so calming about a forest, or the ocean, nature in its integrity. Connect with natures energy. It is so healing. Turn off your phone and just sit down. Listen to the noises, smell the odors, watch the colors. This is perfectibility in its essence. Honor it. When you reconnect to nature you reconnect to yourself. You came from nature, you go back to nature.
14. Create something
.. for the first time in my life a got really passionate about painting. It has never really resonated with me until now. There is something so calming, so fulfilling about creating something with your hands. It doesn’t matter how it looks, it doesn’t matter what it is. Just be intuitive, feel into yourself and you will know what helps you. Try out different thins and never every judge the outcome. If you created it – there is no way for it to not be marvelous.
15. Set new goals
.. for some time its okey to just focus on caring about yourself and doing what feels good. But then you need to come back on track. You won’t be fully happy until you work for goals that fill your soul with energy and motivate you to get out of bed every single morning. Find out what those goals are. Write them down. Make a plan. Create a Vision Board. Go.
16. Really Feel your Feelings
.. as the name FEELING already says: feelings need to be felt. Don’t be scared about this. When you suppress your feelings you will only make it worse. Feelings only really hurt if they are suppressed. Open up and let them pass through you. Always, directly. I wrote a whole Blogpost about this, read it.
17. Find the reason
.. often when we are feeling a bit off – the reason is that there is something in our lives which is out of balance. If we don’t work this out we will sooner or later feel bad, really bad. Go through the different parts of your entire life (Spirituality & Sense of Purpose, Creativity & Play, Intellectual Stimulation, Work-Finances & Career, Relationships, Good Nutrition & Exercise, Rest & Sleep), find out which of them is out of balance and make a play to correct this.
18. Herbs & essential oils
.. there are so many herbs/oils that will help you calm down, ease anxiety, ease depression, make you feel positive & motivated. This is not the solution but it is a great partner on your way to find the solution and solve the core problem.
19. enough sleep
.. I think this is pretty obvious. If you are tired all the time you won’t be able to work on yourself. You just won’t have enough energy, instead you will make it worse. 8-9 hours are perfect, at least for me. Find out how much you need and what helps you fall asleep faster. It will also help you to wake up energized + I collected some extra tips for this.
.. when going through trough times we often tend to blend out all the positive, beautiful and wonderful things that surround us and happen to us. We bring us into a much darker place than it actually is. Write down what you are grateful for every day, feel the gratitude, let it fill you up. Its a wonderful thing with the capacity to heal your soul.
Okey love, those are all of my tips I got for you. I really hope I could add some value to your life & to how you deal with “bad times”. Also I am wishing you love & light no matter what is happing in your life right now.
Try to see everything as an opportunity to grow and to heal deeper. Something that happens for you – not to you. I love you.
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you may also like:
- 6 Steps to overcome negative Self-Talk
- The source of anxiety
- Stop People pleasing
- Negative Thinking & The Self-Fulfilling-Prophecy
- Work on yourself – constantly & actively